A Tear or Two
I cried last night. It was the first time in a long time. They were small tears on an emotionally taught face. The conversation was a mix of sadness and joy as I sat and talked with Kent from the end of my bed.
Being out of your comfort zone is hard. Here in Nashville at Rocketown I feel like I’ve been stretched from the first day of work. While youth ministry does not scare me per sec, working with kids whose interests are different from mine has left me struggling to connect. I don’t know anything about being a skater, digging punk rock, or having this awe consuming passion for music.
I love the staff here. They are a California kind of chill, except that they don’t care where you’ve been or what you’ve done. That has been the hardest thing. I feel at home in a culture that is about impressing others, leaving your mark. But people here don’t care about that. They love you no matter what.
Some people call that grace. I struggle with the idea, not from a theological perspective, but as I’ve experienced it with my friends. It runs so counter to who I’ve been or what I’ve known. My tears, I think, were tears of grace realizing that I am loved, and out of that love Kent, those that I work with, and the kids who come to Rocketown.
My prayer is that I am stretched to be less of my ego and more of myself. To discover who I am when I can’t impress anyone or offer something profound out of my experience. When showing up and trying to love others is all that I can do.
God’s Peace, Eric :p
2 Comments »
Leave a comment
-
Recent Comments
compassiondave on Reflection from DC kookaburra on “Scooby Doo Mother… gatherroundchildren on Last Week Liaiche on Triple digits baby Sarah on When Two become One
-
Kent & Eric
More Photos
You are deeply loved. Both of you are. I hope you never forget that and learn that by loving others you impress them more that anything else ever could. Letting go of ego and becoming who you really are is a great liv\fe lesson, and one that I think we go through multiple times in life. Just think this is only the begining. It is my prayer that you continue to discover and grow to understand that through love that is the only way anyone can truly impress or impact a life.
Love ya,
MB
Read Matthew 23:4-10 from the Message
I thought that this passage was quite fitting for your blog. I struggle with my ego as well and I think it is so easy to fall into, especially in the Christian Education world. We are bred to learn all about God and to teach him the best and to perform. We are ranked by how good of ministers we are and it is so hard to ignore when you are a good minister.
I guess I struggle with it because I like to please people. I like to make people proud. But God loves you in His grace and there are those in our lives that are remarkable in the aspect that they can show us this kind of love and I can only react to it the same way that I react to God’s love, with stubborn acceptance.
You guys are loved. I loved both you and Kent that first summer back from college when I didn’t even know where you went to school or how talented you were. I didn’t know what you would become or how great you would be. I loved you both for how passionate you are and how loving you are. I’ve never met two guys who could touch someone’s soul as quickly as you both do. You guys are amazing. Good luck and as long as you love a kid you’ll make an impact, no matter what their interests are, you just have to be persistent.
Love,
Amber