Reemerging from the grave

 

Three days before Lent I told Eric I was considering giving up coffee.

Eric’s eyebrows raised and he smiled. “You really think you can do that?” he asked.

Startled by his lack of confidence I responded firmly. “Well, yeah!” I said. “It will be tough but I think I can overcome my caffeine addiction.”

Eric didn’t hesitate. “You do realize we will be in the Pacific Northwest, right?”

“Oh,” I stuttered. I knew he was right. “Yeah I didn’t think about that. Seattle is really known for its coffee. Maybe I need to rethink this.”

Lent is a 40 day period before Easter that is a time of preparation for Holy Week. During this time individuals often practice special forms of prayer, fasting and kindness toward their neighbor. It is meant to be a time where one examines God’s presence in their lives; it is designed to prepare us for when Christ returns (Easter).

I didn’t give up anything for Lent this year. Nor did I vow to do anything additional. But for the last 40 days God has been working both in my life and on my heart for Christ to reenter as the true center of my being.

The last six weeks have felt like hell. Nothing has seemed to go right. My heart has been broken, I have had miserable ministry experiences and I have been rejected by graduate schools. I have felt like every plan I have had for my future has been changed and unfortunately I have not been the one to instigate this alteration.

When I began this trip, I felt like I had a fairly clear vision of my future. I believed I knew my calling, the steps I had before me and the timeframe in which I was called to take those steps. If anything, I thought this journey would only help clarify this course, maybe even suggest a few shortcuts, not completely alter the path. I was wrong.

Yet despite my constant changing landscape, I am beginning to find peace. I believe as God has slowly striped away the plans I had for the future, He has began to make room for His. In relationships, ministry and graduate school, God keeps telling me to wait; to trust; and to follow.

I have always believed that when we are at our lowest it is easiest to rely on God. We know how much we need Him and it is only then that we become ready to give Him everything.

As I sit here drinking a warm, dark cup of coffee in Seattle, I have realized that giving up coffee is not enough for God. He wants my life. And this year, possibly for the first time, I think I am ready to give it to Him.

May we all prepare for Christ to reenter our lives,
Kent

You don’t have to wait for the world to change…

Funny how fast your world changes. Right now I’m in a Starbucks in Seattle. Tomorrow at this time I’ll be in Cincinnati, Ohio. My Aunt Thelma passed away yesterday. My world lost a Saint and a woman I hold very dear. As I shared the news with Kent I wept. Something deep inside of me ached and tears seemed the only way to let it out.

This last month has been filled with many unexpected events for Kent and me. Meagan just came for a visit to Seattle. After a few days together and a long walk thru downtown we came to an outdoor sculpture garden she has wanted to see. Moved by the beauty of the art and God’s art in the snowcapped peaks beyond the Puget Sound a thought entered my mind. I could propose to Meagan right here, right now. I prayed as we sat there in that moment and God granted me enough peace and courage for me to get down on a knee and ask her to marry me. It was a moment that only God could have made and I look forward to remembering.

Kent recently spent a week in Miami visiting his family who where there to be with his grandmother. His world too has been transformed with questions; questions of vocation, graduate school and what plans God has for him.

We’re both in a time of transition in life. I guess a lot of people are when I think about my family whom I’ll be with in a day. In the span of a week I’ve felt extreme joy and loss. We both know that God is present in each of our struggles. Yet, somehow we still strain to grasp all that God is trying to tell us.

For those who have been following our journey I apologize that it has been so long since we have provided you with an update. All that I am able to offer as an explanation is to say, “funny how fast your world changes.” I hope that you understand. Ours of late have changed a lot.

God’s Peace, Eric :p