Ben & Jerry’s, Fat People and Cogitive Dissonance

I ate Ben and Jerry’s ice cream tonight as I watched The Biggest Loser on TV.

With each bite I felt guilty.

I listened as each contestant described his or her life as a walking buffet line—wandering aimlessly day-after-day with plate, fork and knife in hand, constantly eating their way into grotesqueness.  My heart was tearful.  My eyes were disgusted.  Yet I couldn’t stop watching.  It was a beautiful train wreck of the obese.  And I cheered them on to skinniness one spoonful at a time.

I don’t know if you have tried Ben and Jerry’s Cinnamon Role Ice Cream but it is addictively blissful.  Think heaven in a recyclable paper cup.  Taste caramel swirls, cinnabon chunks and sugary sweet vanilla.  Dream of ice cream for breakfast at only 13 fat grams per serving.

I couldn’t stop.  I didn’t want to stop.  My eyes were glued to the television and my hand moved uniformly pint-to-mouth… pint-to-mouth.
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I don’t make a lot of money.

Really, that is an exaggeration.  The other day the local paper did a breakdown on home mortgages for low-income individuals.  My salary did not even make the chart.  It was too low.

Yet I have an apartment.  A really nice apartment. And I can go to the grocery store and buy nearly anything I want: organic salad, aged cheese, Ben and Jerry Cinnamon Role Ice Cream.

But I still walk swiftly past have-nots:  the dumpster diving hungry, the vulgar swearing homeless and the hand extended forgotten.

I ignore, deny, smile and say I am sorry.   And then I pray for them at night.  I say I love the homeless but my actions say otherwise.
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In college we used to talk about cognitive dissonance.  It said one side always wins.  The theory stated it is impossible to believe one way yet consistently choose another.  Sooner or later you either kick the habit or believe what you are doing is right.
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I spoke with my friend Ben on Saturday.  We talked about the beautiful struggle to not just speak a faith but to live it; to not just recite love but to give it.
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I turned the TV off midway through the show and then I put away the ice cream.  I solved my dilemma by not choosing either.  I avoided it all together.

But I know I will see a group of homeless men on my walk home. And I will probably see even more going into work tomorrow.  The question is which side of the road will I choose to walk on.  There is no avoiding their humanness.  There is only the question of mine.

May our prayers reflect our actions,
Kent